Thursday, April 05, 2007

Toddler Time....

I remember the day of Ian's birthday party - running around like crazy trying to make sure everything was ready....we were literally decorating up to the very last minute. why do we moms do this to ourselves? in some weird sort of way we must actually thinks it's fun to draw cityscapes on 20 feet of butcher paper, direct your husband where to hang the tree vine from the ceiling, run to the grocery story 124 times because you keep forgetting something and try to find time to put your mascara on while you take your "potty" break (as you now call them) before your baby's guests arrive...all the while he has absolutely no idea what in the world is going on and decides to take a nap in the middle of his own party. Oh, how I wish I could have joined him! cousin comes in to the kitchen to help cut up vegetables for the burgers, we hug and she asks me, ever so casually, " does it feel to be the mother of a toddler?"

(pause for dramatic heart dropping here)

What?!!!??? Ian isn't a toddler, I tell myself. he's still a little baby!!

"hush your mouth" i say to her!

how could Ian be a TODDLER? toddlers are constantly on the go. toddlers are getting into everything. toddlers start to become defiant and get mad when you tell them "no". toddlers squirm out of their mother's arms to play on the ground. toddlers grab the diapers out of your hand while your changing them, throw the diaper on the ground, flip over, stand up on the table and put the cord to the blinds in their mouth all while your bent over getting a wet wipe.


Could it be? is my sweet baby boy really becoming a....TODDLER?

i don't think i am ready for this. things start swirling around me. the annoying voices of people telling me "don't blink or you'll miss something" start to echo in my mind, then guilt and finally sadness creep in when my thoughts turn to - well then, what will i miss being at work 40+ hours a week?

the thoughts are seriously almost too much for me to even think about. so i stop...and i give praise to God for the amazing child we've been asked to be parents to and the blessings. oh, the blessings!!!

i rejoice in the time i do have with ian. how blessed i AM that i have summers and holidays off! how blessed i AM that i have a husband who is a great father to share this with!

how blessed i AM that my little baby boy, who is turning into a toddler, and i sat a few feet away from eachother having a 'stare down' while he whined the infamous tearless cry (you mamas know what i'm talking about) and got mad each time i said "no" to him getting into the cat's bowls.

So blessed.


Heidi said...

Rachel, I'm gonna cry because Ryan is gonna be there in no time at all!! You can coach me through it. Have a blessed day!

Leilanni said...

Rachel, this completely made me laugh out loud!!! I know exactly what you mean!!

Anonymous said...

We are truly blessed beyond measure. I myself am completley undeserving, yet forever thankful that i have you to share these things with and excited for whats sure to come.

Lori said...

Rachel, you are amazing! I know and felt everything you said and God was very good to both you and Stephen.

Everytime you write about Ian, all I can say is amazing....

I cried by the way, and I think I did on the last one.

Love you, Ian and Stephen with all my heart.